Updated: Feb 8
Lately, I’ve been trying to pour wisdom in to my sons. I tell them that I do not want them to grow up and merely be “good men,” as society deems what is good, or others say what is good, or even what they think is good. I always tell them my goal is for them to be godly men, who seek to make God’s name great in all they say and do. This morning was no different. We were talking about what a busy week we have, that, even though we’re busy, we still have responsibilities to do, and if we want the rewards of those responsibilities, we need to do the jobs we’re called to do so that we may reap the rewards. I ended the conversation with “some day, I want you to be a provider and a protector of your family.”
I often hear people say “Where are all the good men?” and then turn around and belittle men for trying to be exactly that. Yet, whenever I read Scripture, we’re not told to be good, godly men when it’s popular or convenient, but that every one of us, men and women, are called to live lives that are righteous and holy before God. We are all made in the image of God. We are complementary of one another within our species, dominant over all the earth, as God blessed and ordained us to be. But when one side of the pair loses its functionality, we as a society, lose our way. We have many worthless men, seeking to live off of the accomplishments of others, who provide nothing to society, but want to claim all the benefits, and it is disgusting!
Men: be a provider and a protector. If called to be a family man, love your wife, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Lead your children by being the man you want your sons to become, and the type of man you want your daughters to marry. Don’t accept society’s views about you, go to what God says about you. Women: accept nothing less than God’s definition of a man. If he refuses to provide and protect, and instead takes and takes, he’s not for you, he’s for himself. By making excuses, by hoping he will change, by enabling him, you’re not helping him become who he was designed to be, you’re helping him stay a child who walks all over you for his own benefit or gain. Wash his feet, as Christ washed Judas’ feet, yes. Do as Paul said, and live out a Christian walk in your home, even if he does not. But do not enable the bad behaviors. Do not give approval to them, but encourage him to be a provider and protector.
I know this may be an unpopular message, but I will give only as the Scripture says. We were made in the Image of God, and we function, male and female as designed by our creator, as HE commands us to live. And remember, God is after our obedience, not our opinion and happiness. Sometimes, we must suffer to see God’s will done, but Jesus did the same for us, all the way to the Cross at Calvary. Follow His example. Endure the hardships, praying through, not giving approval to them, and fix your eyes, always, on Jesus.
Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?