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Not a Hallmark Movie

My husband LOVES to make fun of the romance movies I watch. I am usually not in the mood for "crying" films , so I avoid those. I watch more wholesome, feel-good romance films. When I am folding laundry or paying bills, I would rather have a movie on that doesn't challenge me much, than something that needs my attention. When Brian and I watch these movies together, Brian likes to spoil the plot for me. I admit, pretty much all of the scripts are of the same basic formula. Sometimes, even I will join in on this same type of teasing. We do this in the comfort of our own home, and when we are with my parents (my mom and dad watch these types of movies too).

I have been married for 11.5 years and we have been together for 13 years. My husband is caring, creative, supportive, and loves me dearly. I love my husband very much, and he is my favorite person to be around. We have lots of differences, but we get along extremely well. We enjoy being together, and we even enjoy working together. We have served in the Church as both volunteers and as staff in various ministries. We are also raising our four sons together. Our relationship is not perfect in any way, but we are committed to each other.

The stories these romance movies that I like to watch are pretty much fiction. The confessions of love after a series of mishaps between the couple over a weekend or week seem superficial to me. The people involved in these relationships may really be "meant for each other", but that is not always true. People who watch these types of movies and television shows need to be careful on the expectations of their own relationships. Most of the movies I have watched in this genre are just about the start (or re-start) of a relationship. By the end of the movie, everyone who is supposed to be happy is, and all of the bad schemers go away. We know that in real life, relationships may start out with a great story (you know, good enough to make a fluffy movie about), but relationships do not stay "cute". If they did, many of us would still be with people who are VERY wrong for us.

Great marriages, however the relationship began, must be grounded in commitment (for better or for worse). A great Christian marriage MUST have three involved: God first, and then the man and woman. In my own marriage, although we have had a ton of blessings, tragedy and hardship have not been strangers to us. If God was not so important to us in our vows, I don't know where we would be. Romantic love is fine, for a while, but when things have not been so cute and pretty in a relationship, a more profound love is what must be there.

I loved my husband more when I said "I will" than when I said "yes" to the proposal. I cherish my husband now more than when I said my vows. I could try to give more marriage advice, but I am much better off learning from others. Eleven and a half years of marriage could be a magical number when it comes to celebrities, but it is not much in comparison to so many others' in my life. My best advice is to not rely on cute stories of how people met, but learn from people who have been through much and their marriages are still intact.

Also, you may have come to Christ in some "cute" way. You felt that tingle in your gut during an especially emotional worship time or church camp event. The Holy Spirit told you "It's time" and you finally answered an alter call or talked to your parents or pastor about being baptized. Now, you may feel distant from God. You may be thinking "Am I really saved? I don't feel like I'm on fire for Jesus anymore." You may be doing things that are no longer on the narrow path. You may think that going to church was just a phase in your life and you no longer need the Church, nor Jesus, in it. Life may not be so great for you right now, or what you thought it was going to be once you became a Believer. God's love is steadfast, though. If you are still tickin', than you can get back on track. I will give you someone else's words about being "steadfast" in love


Proverbs 3:3 (English Standard Version)

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.

Micah 7:18 (English Standard Version)

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love.

James 1:12 (English Standard Version) 12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

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