Promises seem to not mean much any more, do they? We teach our kids to sign up for teams, for example, and when things don’t go the way we want, we pull our kids from said teams. We teach our kids to quit when things don’t go their way. Going to a bigger example, marriage. We make promises to one another, for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health, and we look one another in the eye, and maybe intend to make good on those promises, but when worse, poorer and sickness happen, it just gets too hard. I even see, in the Christian community, people arguing about Biblical statements because the situations people in marriages find themselves in are toxic. The thing is, these promises we make are broken based on our feelings, right, wrong, good, bad or indifferent. I may lose some friends because what I am saying is going to be a very unpopular position, but it needs to be stated: the Bible doesn’t call people out of toxic marriages, toxic relationships, toxic countries, toxic teams, toxic anything. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about a situation where one’s life , and/or the life of their kid(s) is/are in danger. I’m talking about how we break our promises over smaller, marginal things, and, instead of struggling, we “do what’s best for us” and run away. We have a tendency to commit and run, and so we move relationships, jobs, homes, states, churches, and even belief systems because “things aren’t the way I envisioned them.” Brother, sister, the church is not about you, and it’s not about me. It’s about Jesus Christ. And Jesus calls people to make their yes be “yes” and their no be “no.” He calls people to holiness.
Before we say “yes,” even to and especially toward Jesus, we’re called to consider the cost. Paul, Peter and Jesus, realizing what people were in, preached on trials, tribulations and troubles, knowing people were in what we would call “toxic relationships” of all sorts, including addressing slaves in bondage, and Christians being tortured, killed and abused by their government. Scripture, though, says that Marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church, to go with our earlier example. Could you imagine if Jesus left us at our worst and most “toxic?” None of us would be saved! If your marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church, what must you think, based on how you treat your current/former spouse, Jesus thinks of you? He doesn’t abandon us when we’re misusing our money, or falling in to trouble. He picks us up, heals us, and challenges us to “go and sin no more.”
Loved ones, learn to commit to your word, even when things get so tough you don’t think you can bear it any more. Jesus, our head, our example, left heaven to be born as one of us, and live with us as one of us. He was misused, taken advantage of, healed the ungrateful, was constantly plotted against, physically assaulted (they tried to stone him and run him over a cliff), and at the end of His life, as He knew where He was headed, Jesus cried out “if this cup could be removed from me, but nevertheless not my will but yours be done.” He sweat drops of blood in anguish over what was to come. He was beaten, scarred, brutalized on our behalf, but He stayed the course. He was nailed to a tree, and mocked and taunted to “come down” but He stayed the course. He saw it through to the end of His own, precious, holy life, and cried out “It is finished,” and died for us. He was buried and rose for us. And He is on the throne, alive, calling sinners who are toxic to repent and come home and learn to stay the course alongside Him. Stay the course. Make your word count. Let your Yes be “yes” and your no be “no,” in spite of what the world says.
1 Peter 3
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For
“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison, because they formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water. Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him.

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