The Lord has been impressing me, both in His word, and through external sources, about the many compromises I've made in my life. From things on the radio to things on tv, to games I've played, to people I've been around, He's used them all to bring me back to Him, but at the same time, He never wanted me in those places or doing those things to begin with. I remember being the "good kid" growing up. From the time I met Jesus (I was in kindergarten) until about my 8th grade year, I maintained that reputation. Yet even in my "good kid" phase, there were cracks in my armor; things I would say in private with friends, things we would watch together, things we would do; I won't list them, as I don't want to accidentally encourage bad habits, but let us say they all contributed to who I would become as a Teenager and young adult, and not in the best of ways. When I was 16, a girl I didn't have any respect for (In my opinion, she'd earned her bad reputation), stopped me and said "What happened to you? You used to be the kid I looked up to, and now you're a jerk like every other guy I know." I thought about that before contemplating suicide 5 years later, asking "How did I get here?" The point I'm making by getting (probably) way too personal is this: falls don't happen all at once. As a matter of fact, the path to our falls are often slow, gradual, and pleasant. They're easy, and not a big deal. No one in addiction ever sets out to be an addict. Not many in an affair intend to cheat on their spouse; little compromises here and there crack the armor. "What's the big deal" the rest of the world will ask (I recently read about the Vice President being mocked for not allowing himself to be alone in a room with a woman...this is what I' mean). This is why we need Jesus Christ to be our supreme Authority in all things. This is why we need accountability over every part of our lives. Jesus did not die so that we could continue in what we were doing. He died to make us new. And so we must walk in the newness of life, or we will fall in to that gradual decline, that slope that gently leads to our destruction. The good news is that you are NEVER too far gone for God's Grace. Jesus can rescue anyone from anything, and while we may have to address and live with the physical consequences of our action, we can achieve, yes even in hardship, peace with God. But you have to submit to Christ. James 1:12-18 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.