Yep, that's right, I admit my weakness. I'm not strong enough. For what, you might ask. I'm glad you did (rhetorically, metaphorically, or whatever oracally you can think of). Anything. I'm not enough on my own. On my own, I'm lustful, greedy, angry (in the non righteous way), prideful, arrogant, and so much more besides. I'm awful on my own. I'm not strong. Please don't call me that! I can't handle it! I can't do it on my own. I NEED A SAVIOR! If I was enough, you see, then Jesus need not have died to save me. In anything and everything I do, I need a savior. I need Jesus and the Holy Spirit to point me to the Father in everything and anything I do. Whether it's rising up in the morning, or laying down, being a neighbor, being a worker, whatever it may be, I need Jesus. Even my so-called healthy desires become unhealthy when used to bolster myself. I become self-focused, self-centered, and become my own God if I begin to build me up. I am not enough. I may sound like I'm kicking myself. I'm not. I just know that my natural humanity is always getting in the way. I need to submit all of myself, my good and bad, mind you, to the will of Christ Jesus so that I can be like Him. You become what you worship, and if you worship self, you're going to diminish yourself; but if you worship God, He is constantly drawing us closer to Him!
Psalm 139 English Standard Version (ESV)
Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.
139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a] Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! 20 They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain.[b] 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? 22 I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.
a. Psalm 139:14 Or for I am fearfully set apart
b. Psalm 139:20 Hebrew lacks your name
c. Psalm 139:23 Or cares